Seeds of Actualization

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while, but I’m not quite sure who my audience is or if it is really just for me. Either way, it seems that I need to get it out of my head and into my blog so I can move on. So here it goes.

I see seeds of actualization as the kernels of truth, advice, information, etc., that we receive along our path in life that aid us in reaching our full potential. Before we actualize into being fully human (a nod to Paoulo Freire here), we get all kinds of bits through our lives that speak to us…maybe it is a quite whisper or perhaps it’s a really loud boom, but it is what we do with those bits that define our paths.

Since my very good friend, Robin, passed away 2 years ago, I made a decision to go back to school and reach for a career that would allow me to fulfill my desire to serve my community while focusing on women. Her last few years of living with cancer made me really think about wellness. I decided I want to be a naturopathic midwife (a primary care physician that focuses on natural births and healthy families.) Just as Brad and I found out about baby Solomon, I was applying to a school in Portland. I went for an interview and got an acceptance letter. My heart was set for a big move and a new adventure, but Brad, my more level-headed counter-part, shared his reservations about uprooting our soon-to-be family of three across the country with no sure bet of a job for him while I attend school full time for four years. Fair enough. Regardless, the seeds of my desires were planted and they have been hibernating since that discussion to stay in Texas.

Over a year has passed now since we decided to stay put, but all the while I’ve been thinking, dreaming, plotting a move for us. We have discussions all the time about making a change, but we have a six month old baby and plans for another.  I’m not lamenting about our location at this stage; however, career goals don’t necessarily dissipate when babies arrive. In Ecclesiastes 3 (a book written by King Solomon!), it says: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:… a time to plant and a time to uproot…a time to search and a time to give up. This wisdom is so basic that it is easy to overlook, but the truth of seasons is what allows seeds of actualization to either thrive or die. Timing is an essential component of life and death (be it that of an organism, idea, or dream) and one’s reverence for this truth will either make or break you.

My season of mothering and babies is right now. I have embraced that and I allow my heart to be fully joyful about my job, all the while, I’m preparing my heart for the next phase (while still being fully present), whatever that may be. I’m not anxious or worried, just quietly putting together a plan. As my uncle always says, you must create goals and measure yourself by them.

The comfort and stability we have here in Texas is strong and could easily prevent us from using any stored up courage we might have to make a big change one day. Let’s face it, it is just easier to go with the flow than carve out our own path. We could very well walk hand-in-hand with the status-quo and lead a decent, good life. We could avoid some struggles (maybe…we never know) by staying put, but I know we aren’t called to be stagnant.  As a matter of fact, we are called to do the opposite: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9.

That uncle I mentioned earlier gave me a little verbal fertilizer for my seeds recently saying, find your ministry and you will never work. And so it goes, I am still convicted about being a naturopathic midwife. I feel called to that and I feel that will be my ministry one day, but I’m also called to be a mother and wife and I have to nurture my husband’s and child’s seeds of actualization as well as my own. Right now, they are my ministry (as they will be for the rest of my life!) and it is my responsibility to make sure they are growing and thriving so that we can support one another. If we thrive together now, we can sustain each other in the future through big moves, struggles, sacrifice, joy, pain, and my full-time attendance to a naturopathic program.

Like gardening, you have to sow seeds that will complement each other each season, not compete against each other for survival. Right now I’m the marigold to Brad and Solomon’s tomato plant…I’ll keep the pests away so that we can all one day enjoy the ripened fruit of actualization.

Use All the Goody

I’m currently reading Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictorcrats, 2nd edition and using this as a quasi-blueprint for many of my mealplans. The authors are Sally Fallon and Mary G. Enig, Ph.D. I’ts been around for a while as it was published in 1999. I find that the authors really reinforce the importance of wholesome, good food while citing nutritional value and cultural and regional importance.

If you enjoy reading about food and understanding the connection to culture and health, or if you just like recipes, this is worth ordering. All that to say that so far I’ve made chicken stock, a pot of pinto beans, and a coconut chicken soup (from the stock). The chicken stock took pretty much all day, but it wasn’t very involved and now I have leftover stock in the freezer for future soups.

Chicken Stock- The essential premise of stock is a good one: letting nothing go to waste…(122)

I like this definition from the book. Since we live in such a consumer–>waste society, I think we rarely do anything that actually gets all the goody from any given food/product/whatever. I mean, do you ever pay attention to the “trash” you throw away? Not that I’m hoarding all the random pieces of plastic in my recycling bin to melt down and build into something later, but I could…if I wanted to. This leads me to talk a little about my co-op bin. As part of my 2012 pledge to myself, I don’t want to waste any of it. I have to shamefully admit though, I did miss the opportunity to use 5 pears. I just couldn’t get around to eating them or making something with them all and I threw the mushy little guys away and now I feel slightly guilty. Only 9 days into 2012 and I failed. Boo.

However, I did use all the apples from my last two co-op bins. I’m not complaining because they were delicious, but there were just so many apples and pears these last two bins that I’m having to get extra creative. With my apples I made an apple, brie, and hazelnut tart. YUM! Thanks to Pinterest, I’ve become a tart fan with all the endless recipes that pop up on my board. By the way, if you are in the Dallas area and are interested in joining a veggie and fruit co-op, I highly suggest it. I am a member of Urban Acres which has a store here in Oak Cliff. They have several spots around DFW and for$30 (plus yearly membership fee and one time bin fee) you get 15 lbs. of organic veggies and fruits. That’s pretty darn good, y’all. 15 lbs. may seem like a lot, but for me and Brad it has been plenty. Plus, Solomon is hitting the 6 month mark (can you believe it!?) this week, so I’m going to start him on solid foods. He is going to get to try butternut squash first.

As I looked around my kitchen the other day, I realized that this is it. Sink or swim. I got all these kitchen goodies for Christmas (a beautiful food processer and fancy canning gear) and I have a co-op membership. My son hasn’t had any processed food, except a pizza every so often and the fun-size Snickers my mom keeps stocked at the store that he gets through my breastmilk, so I want to set a strong foundation for him and give him all the goodness he needs to be strong and healthy. I have to admit that it is slightly daunting to think about adding a new step into my already busy mommy life, but it will force me to be a better planner and it will only reinforce my meal planning pledge.

On top of nourishing my family, this is me walking the walk. My heart’s desire is to become a naturopathic physician one day, so this is me trying to live up to what I hope to prescribe to my patients one day: health through good nutrition (sans the fun-sized Snickers .

Hello world! Making a list of lists.

So this is my first blog post for the upcoming 2012. I’ve been thinking about writing a blog for the last few months, but I’ve also been contemplating whether I could or would be committed to writing a blog with any kind of frequency other than that of an afterthought. I have a few reasons for wanting to write: I’ll be staying home a little more in 2012 and I want to keep myself involved and accountable to goals I’ve set for myself; I want to use the public forum as a source of accountability for my goals (not that anyone is really going to call me out for falling short, but at least I will have it out there in space to make me feel conscientious  about any slacking); I want to use this season in my life to do some research about ideas and concepts that I feel passionate about without the worry of what letter grade I will receive for my writing/research.

All that being said, as I’ve contemplated what subjects I’d like to write about, I found even the act of rumination to be a little daunting…there is soooooooooo much to write about. So, I will start with making public my list of lists. My very wise and successful uncle David told me (in an interview for a management class in college) that the most important thing one can do is to set measurable goals that can track one’s progress. It has taken a while for that to really to sink it, but now that I’m a mother and wife, I find that I need to prioritize more so that my goals and dreams (to be discussed later) with be attainable in the future. Here goes:

In 2012 I am determined to…

1. Set a weekly meal plan and use all the fruits and veggies that come in our local co-op bin every two weeks. This will force my family to eat seasonably and healthfully and it will help me to be less tempted to order a pizza.

2. Really use the sewing machine I bought over 2 years ago at an estate sale. I WILL hem my own pants (and maybe Brad’s too) and finally restructure the drapes in the dining room so that they won’t be used as dog hair traps.

3. Can some stuff…I want to be eating my own home-made pickles this summer and using my own tomato sauce therefore allowing my family and me to avoid as much BPA in aluminum cans and plastic as possible.

4.  Determine and define a research project that relates to food/nutrition, women and family health, and networks that support the like.

5. Eliminate as many chemicals and harmful substances from the Cox residence as possible. I actually started this in 2011, but there are still some stragglers. This includes household cleaning products, bath and beauty products, and so on.

6. Most importantly, strengthen and grow our family with love and purpose. My desire is to grow spiritually, nurture and develop gifts and interests that God has granted my family and me, and allow those things to guide our hearts and our paths.

With that, I will say adios and get to work. First thing, make chicken soup (and chicken stock for later cooking) and prepare for New Year’s food.